January 04, 2003
How to write like a wanker

A practical guide:

A real wanker considers his time infinitely more valuable than his reader's. (You are a real wanker, aren't you?) Accordingly, don't hesitate to conserve keystrokes. Address your reader as 'u'; 'you' is time-consuming and obsolete. Never 'see' something if you can 'c' it instead. Refer to groups as 'ppl' rather than 'people'. Don't put a task off until 'later', do it 'l8r'. Tell your critics to 'stfu' instead of asking them to 'shut the fuck up'. If your reader has the time to actually read the drivel you post, they surely have the time to decode your dribbling shorthand.

Good one.. [via: Mark]

Posted January 04, 2003 12:30 PM in Funnies
TrackBack URL for this entry: http://www.unix-girl.com/mt/mt-tb.cgi/468
Comments
On January 4, 2003 12:54 PM Techie2000 added:

*Grumbles*

I guess I'm one then...

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On January 5, 2003 06:04 PM x0r added:

hehe.. also known as n00b countah strikah language...
Pisses me of if people use it excessivly. Especially non-chat fora.
Also.. rewritings of acronyms? like LOOOL! whats that? hate that..
.. but not nearly as much as peopls saying out loud 'LOL' as an expression.
Makes me want clean up the gene pool with something painfull.

have fun l33t ppl ;)

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On May 31, 2003 02:39 PM Dan Dan added:

Oh, this is so funny! I landed here because infernus.net is down and I was looking for a mirror of his "how to write like a wanker" rant. I replied to a wankeriffic (u like dat?) LiveJournal post with "No one who uses the 21st letter of the alphabet as a proper pronoun can be my friend", and things got heated there.

....ppl r funy....

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On July 5, 2003 08:28 AM f added:

fuck you all ppl

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On July 5, 2003 08:31 AM wtf added:

ok, now all this fucking on the internet cannot be good. have you been into chat rooms where kids of 12 or 13 are cybering each other. I propose an age limit on internet sex to be the same as that for real life sex. Sex is only allowed to be enjoyed by mature people who can take responsibility for themselves, be it using a condom or a mouse, so please, support me on this!

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On July 5, 2003 08:33 AM carefully done added:

hey you, this is a forum about writing about wankers not about child pornography. --> keep it to yourself!

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On July 5, 2003 08:35 AM wtf added:

no way, this is a free site. i can write what i want to write. expression is free to everyone not resitricted to wankers.

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On July 5, 2003 08:36 AM carefully done added:

but surely this site has a main point and that is about writing like wankers. maybe you should go to another place to express your opionions.

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Trackbacks
Jesse Lawrence's Weblog:Wanker
Kasia points out a good little tidbit about wankers who like to write things like stfu, u for you, and
(read more)
January 4, 2003 04:41 PM