March 20, 2004
I cannot take a compliment

Anyone who knows me can attest to this little trait of mine. I just cannot take a compliment. I have to turn it around into a sarcastic remark, joke or just outright deny the truthfulness of the claim. This does not appear to be a problem for most adults..

Let's see an example A normal, adult conversation involving compliments may sound something like this:

"You have nice, well formed calves that speak volumes of your athletic ability."
"Why thank you! I do train them hard and often to attain this look!"

With me, it sounds more like this (recent real life example):

"Your weblog is one of the better written ones I read"
"Dude, what the hell are you reading??"

Let's analyze what just happened here.
Someone said I write well. Instead of accepting that, thanking and being happy I turn it around and insult his ability to recognize good writing. Bad Kasia, no cookie for you.

When it comes to social behaviour, I tend to be slow and obtuse, so it shouldn't come as surprise to anyone that I just realized very recently that maybe by denying someone the right to give me a compliment I am insulting their ability to recognize something worth complimenting.

Therefore, I apologize to anyone who has ever tried to compliment me and got a sarcastic remark as a response. Thank you, my writing isn't half bad, I do have nice eyes and I am pretty witty.

Posted March 20, 2004 12:56 PM in Personal
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Comments
On March 20, 2004 01:00 PM Steve Friedl added:

Accepting a compliment graciously is a gift to the giver of that compliment.

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On March 20, 2004 01:37 PM Derek added:

I didn't say you had nice eyes, I said you had a nice ..... come to think of it, it does sound a bit similar, I suppose I can see where you got confused... *grin*

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On March 20, 2004 02:04 PM david added:

I tend to think its kind a knee-jerk reaction (UCS for psych types) when we do those things..I can never really accept a compliment either without saying something off base or something possibly offensive to the other person. Last one I used was the.."whatever you're smoking, it must be good" comment when I fixed a sever-side issue for somebody..

I deserve to be shot out of a cannon sometimes.

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On March 20, 2004 04:48 PM am added:

and don't forget the china doll skin kasia!

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On March 20, 2004 10:19 PM Jeremy Zawodny added:

Yeah, welcome to my world.

BTW, anyone ever tell you that you've got nice...

Oh, nevermind. You'll just make a joke out of it. :-)

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On March 21, 2004 10:49 AM gregory added:

I suck at taking compliments. I tend to either downplay whatever I was complimented about, or stammer out a 'thanks' or just shrug.

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On March 21, 2004 04:50 PM Jacques added:

When it comes to compliments I'm also of late one to give a snappy comment back. Maybe it's because of the high pressure environment us geeks are in?

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On March 21, 2004 10:06 PM Jason Pugh added:

Everytime someone gives me a compliment, I think they are secretly mocking me. I am way to paranoid.

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On March 23, 2004 04:26 AM Sam added:

Kasia, your sarcasm is always so crunchy !

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On March 23, 2004 06:00 PM ALaure added:

That's exactly me. Any medecine (worth it) you take would be appreciated ;)

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On March 29, 2004 01:25 AM Bernie Zimmermann added:

I once heard someone say that this is a typical trait of Germans, and it's always seemed to fit me (I'm half German) and the German members of my family quite well. I was about to ask if perhaps you were German as well, but I decided to not be so lazy and find out on my own. It seems you are Polish...maybe the Germans rubbed it off on you guys, or vice versa?

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