October 21, 2004
The Common Blog Troll

Scientific name: Blogus-trollus
Physical Characteristics: Since the common blog troll is a very elusive species and tends to emulate homo sapiens when confronted in Real Life (the habitat of homo sapiens) it has thus escaped proper description. It is said that its head is covered with green warts and its body largely resembles a cone.

Color: Yellow-green, orange, red, black, white, purple and variations there-of.

Habitat: The common blog troll can be found nosing around any weblog that allows the posting of comments.

Belongs to the common troll group.

The Common Blog Troll is a recently discovered species, most likely evolved from the Common Usenet Troll or perhaps its close cousin, the Common Forum Troll. Its primary source of nourishment is a response to its excrement, which is left in the form of a comment on any weblog which allows comments. Its best not to feed the troll, otherwise it might make itself at home and litter said blog with ever growing piles of excrement. Once the pest moves into a weblog the best way to eradicate it is by the use of "IP Ban" which comes free with many forms of weblog -- if yours does not possess such feature you can always enlist the help of a local system administrator.

It should be noted that even an IP ban is not entirely effective in removing the most persistent of trolls - as the more intelligent ones have the ability of using different IP addresses. In that case only vigillance, patience and time will get rid of the pest completely.

Posted October 21, 2004 08:24 PM in Funnies
TrackBack URL for this entry: http://www.unix-girl.com/mt/mt-tb.cgi/1371
Comments
On October 21, 2004 09:37 PM Da-v-e added:

Funny, I consider many bloggers trolls themselves - posting their inane far-left rants. Or ranting about fellow employees. Or ranting about some technology. etc. etc. etc. ad nauseum. So don't get upset when intelligent people actually call you on your BS. Just like real life.

Many bloggers hide behind their blogs - they're too timid to express themselves in real life. Witness kasia ranting about debugger Steve. But then Steve found out. Uh oh. Real life confrontation ensued. Probably would have just been better to confront him face-to-face, rather than putting it on the Internet for all to see and hoping anonymous strangers would side with her.

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On October 21, 2004 09:40 PM kasia added:

They're also really bad at taking hints.

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On October 21, 2004 10:04 PM Paul added:

Dave,

lkjhjdshgwe nwoefhwe fbwyeibcwe, ok?

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On October 21, 2004 10:22 PM david added:

I say we run Sir Dave here through a debugger. Might find all kinds of good shit!

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On October 22, 2004 12:26 AM D-a-v-e added:

LOL, paula. Going to try making the special olympics team again this year?

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On October 22, 2004 03:27 AM Mark Cornelissen added:

Hello Dave,

you complain about all sorts of things you read on blogs. If this bothers you, then why do you read it?

Regards,

Mark

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On October 22, 2004 04:56 AM Da-v-e added:

I didn't read Mark's comments.

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On October 22, 2004 07:23 AM kasia added:

Dear Dave,

While it's flattering that you continue to change IP addresses just so you can post comments in my leftist, commmie blog, do you think it perhaps makes you appear rather childish?

Perhaps I misjudged you, it is entirely possible you are but 15, if so I apologize. Now run along and play with your other toys, computer time is over.

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On October 22, 2004 11:23 AM Aristotle added:

> Probably would have just been better to confront him face-to-face, rather than putting it on the Internet for all to see and hoping anonymous strangers would side with her.

So why don't you take your own advice and confront Kasia offline instead of hiding behind comments on her blog?

Some people are a waste of perfectly good oxygen, I guess.

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On October 22, 2004 02:22 PM jeremy added:

Interesting... So Dave thinks that "leftist" blogs are trolling... I wonder if he would say the same thing about the right-wing blogs out there...

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On October 22, 2004 04:42 PM Dave added:

LOL, condescension - the trademark of lefties. How typical.

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On October 22, 2004 07:11 PM Paul added:

Well dave, it doesn't *MATTER* what anyone says; you'll just respond with some bullshit - I figured I'd save myself the time actually thinking of something. Sure enough, you responded in your typical fashion.

You're not some version of Eliza are you?

"Tell me why you want to tell me you're not going to talk about me. We're here to talk about you."

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On October 22, 2004 09:43 PM jfc added:

Dave, like all trolls, just needs a good dose of Jack Handy and a hug. This troll in particular is only crying out for attention becasue he is 15 and has not yet had the magical experience of kissing a girl. He is shy and ashamed. Surely we have all seen this on nearly every board we have ever been on. We just need to cut him some slack and help him get a date.

Dave, just look into a mirror and say "I'm good enough, I am smart enough and dog-gone-it, people like me!" and you will feel much better.

Now, wash your face, find some clean clothes and go out there and find a girl to talk to and stop stalking kasia.

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On October 22, 2004 11:31 PM Dave added:

Heh, you all sure are a bunch of loser trolls who obviously have no life.

jfc - you sure sound like one pathetic 15 year old loser.

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On October 23, 2004 08:08 AM jfc added:

> jfc - you sure sound like one pathetic 15 year old loser.

Touche! Your wit is *stunning* and should be celebrated throughout the land! You are off by more than double but that does not decrease the joy we all feel at being graced by your magnificent displays of delightful humor.

Come on dave, dont fight it. We all know you know you need hugs and help. You know it. We know it. We know why you lash out like this. Your anger is what makes you so afraid and alone... Find that mirror and keep repeating that mantra... "I'm good enough, I am smart enough and dog-gone-it, people like me!" We know you can do it. We are here for you. It all begins with you but you have to take that initiative and start on that path of loving and accepting yourself.

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On October 23, 2004 09:43 AM Paul added:

Dave's problems are probably more deep seeded than self esteem issues and, no doubt, stem from his relationship with his parents. What we're witnessing is indeed a cry for love, but it's parental love. The poor boy never got enough "good attention", and so fills the void with "bad attention." Ironically, despite a search for love, he can only attain this attention through impersonal forms such as anonymous text posted on blogs, rather than person to person.

His case is almost a classic case of what is called Detachment Disorder (google it and learn more!) which typically results lack of parental love.

Chances are good that he'll end up in jail, or commit suicide. I'm rooting for the latter.

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On October 23, 2004 08:17 PM Jeremy added:

This gets more and more interesting...

Dave speaks about people being condescending, while being condescending to others...

Dave speaks about people trolling being kiddies with no life while at the same time spending time here trolling...

Obviously he seems to exhibit all of the qualities that he supposedly sees in other posters and complains about...

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On October 24, 2004 02:02 PM Eric added:

Dave, why not identify yourself, and where you're reaching us from, so someone can properly take care of this in person?

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On October 24, 2004 03:31 PM Jeremy added:

Dave, Dave, Dave... Resorting to over done and junvenile humor when confronted with non-partisan logic... I have to admit, you certainly are an amusing troll.

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On October 26, 2004 04:11 AM samh added:

is this posting about that Dave character ?

he's clearly a terrorist

anyway good-ol right wing politics win again

Can you feel the love ?

Happy voting ;)

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On October 26, 2004 04:12 AM samh added:

hmmm ... didn't preview

that should have contained

http://abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory?id=198028&CMP=OTC-RSSFeeds0312

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Ales Rarus:Trolls
Funky's First Law of Blogging: "You doing something right if trolls think you're important enough to annoy."
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January 15, 2005 01:40 PM