Fun with l33t h4x0rz
Running a website with many regular users is fun.. sometimes too much fun. Particularly when one of those users threatens to hack said website (it actually happens fairly often.. but not always with such hilarious results (not the hacking mind you, the threats)).
Little background first..
Users are able to 'remove' their account by using a 'remove me' button.. which essentially disables the account from further use.. it's not actually deleted to preserve posts and history (although I could be persuaded to hit the magic button and nuke the whole thing given it doesn't disrupt much).
This particular user has done as much.. Disabled his account, which was a 'premium' account ($10 purchase and they're given $10 in 'points' that can be used for site tools.. support the site and all that happy stuff).. I'm actually half certain that in this case the premium status was donated by someone else anyway but I don't feel like digging through a large database just to prove such minor point.
So he removed his account.. on his own.. probably to be a drama queen, that's always been popular. Now he has a new account but decided he wants the old one back. We said "no". Too many people have done as much.. disabled an account just to create drama and then want it back.. Enough is enough and we put a stop to that..
This e-mail exchange ensues.. you probably don't want to read further.. but if you do.. go on!
From: admin@**nyc.comME BEING AN ASS? That fuck face is too lazy to give me old account back I keep asking him for weeks now that little bitch wont even give me refund and IM BEING AN ASS? [this is about another site admin able to restore accounts]
To: admin@**nyc.com
He's not too lazy.. we've made a policy of not returning accounts to members as it leads to 'dramacides' and constant problems.You terminated your account now live with the choice.
And fuck-face should be hyphenated.
From: admin@**nyc.com
No you all will pay tomorrow I will own dslr
To: admin@**nyc.com
Whatever.. like you're the first 15 year old to threaten us.
From: admin@**nyc.com
Whatever I will own you for my $10 thieves
To: admin@**nyc.com
You're cheap.. a hacker for hire for mere $10?What are you going to do make us use windows? Seriously.. we're not complete idiots...
X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook Express 6.00.2800.1158
X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.2800.1165
I don't feel very threatened.
From: admin@**nyc.com
[root@nick root]# uptime
22:36:36 up 40 days, 1:40, 4 users, load average: 0.00, 0.00, 0.00
[root@nyc root]# id
uid=0(root) gid=0(root)
groups=0(root),1(bin),2(daemon),3(sys),4(adm),6(disk),10(wheel)
[root@nyc root]#
I got rh and slack too booya! And over 10 .PL 100Mbps owned WINNT machines.To: admin@**nyc.com
Nice load average.. 40 days? Am I supposed to be impressed? ..[root@geddy /root]# uptime
10:29pm up 164 days, 17:45, 15 users, load average: 0.08, 0.08, 0.08
+497 days.. older kernels maxed out at that.... solaris..
# uptime
10:45pm up 204 day(s), 21:34, 20 users, load average: 0.29, 0.25,
0.26Note real load averages.. and user count.. as in boxes in real use.. Seriously, take some advice, if you're trying to impress someone, particularly someone who has been a unix sysadmin professionally for years (like, say, me) don't show off your redhat box. That's just sad.
From: admin@**nyc.com
*flexes*
Imfao my system passed that kernel limit like 3 times now.. ha ha on you. And its not about uptime sweetie you just said i have no *nix you dumb bitch. "who has been a unix sysadmin professionally for years (like say, me) don't show off your redhat box." Omg should i bow down to you? Get some knee pads and start working.
To: admin@**nyc.com
Really? 3 times? So huh.. which redhat version is it that you're running again? Those older kernels have horrible security issues..I didn't say you didn't have access to unix.. I made fun of you using outlook. Not quite the same but I see it's a sensitive topic?
From: admin@**nyc.com
Fat bitchHow do you explain that FAT ASS BUTTER FACE of yours?!.
I use windows because i need it for design okie? You stupid bitch. I run slackware 8. I dont give a fuck you owe me $10.
To: admin@**nyc.com
4 years of uptime on slackware 8? You either got the developers beat on the release or you're really bad at math..I don't owe you $10.. you closed your account of your own volition (http://www.m-w.com/ in case you need to look up the big words).
.. but if your business is doing so poorly (based on your load average I'd say it is) I'll give you the 10 toolpoints.. see, because I'm a nice person.. well, that and all fat people are jolly.
From: admin@**nyc.com
Did i hurt your feelings :\ AWWW.. SHUT THE FUCK UP
From: admin@**nyc.com
Its not about $10 its about my account date and principle. I saw many people who dolalrcided "to try it" to be back on same account there even fucking thread about it on dslra dn one guy just did it for fun. But when I need to get it back NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO im too fucking fat to type restore account command my fingers press 2 keys and its really hard omg omg. Oh and stfu thats my free server for people who cant afford to buy hosting you stupid bitch atleast im not a greedy fuck like whole DSLR is fuckign money eaters
To: admin@**nyc.com
Oh, stop flattering me so.. gosh.. you're making me blush!It had to stop somewhere.. well, gee, guess you should have been nicer to us mods huh?
You can't even get a decent amount of load when giving away hosting for free? Now that's sad :)
Good luck kiddo
From: admin@**nyc.com
I was ncie to FATTY but that fat fuck is a shit head. ANd fuck you fat bitch.
[Once again, he means another site admin]
To: admin@**nyc.com
Isn't it past your bedtime?G'night, I'll wait for the hacking tomorrow.
From: admin@**nyc.com
FAt people like to sleep ?! Oh no? You dont have to go to work in the morning cuz you got my money i forgot fuciking theives!
From: admin@**nyc.com
THIEVES!
[The one's below are from today..]
From: admin@**nyc.com
Slut
To: admin@**nyc.com
Hey, shouldn't you be 'owning' dslr by now? I cancelled my evening plans just for the occasion!you disappoint me.
From: admin@**nyc.com
I decided not to own dslr because im afraid you going to sue me for every penny i got so youc an eat more junk food.
From: admin@**nyc.com
Fat fucks
[I decided to end it there :) ]
Comments
He probably didn't "own" DSLR because he was too busy with his Big Wheel and forgot.
Posted by: Steve Friedl | July 10, 2003 11:49 PM
Interesting. That kid always has annoyed me. Plus his vocabulary seems largely limited to 4 letter words. I don't see why you didn't save us all and just ban him completely from the site from the get go...:-/
Posted by: Techie2000 | July 11, 2003 12:08 AM
If I banned everyone who annoys me we'd have half the users we do.. that would be unfortunate :)
Now if I banned everyone I annoyed we'd have no users left.
so.. we'll just take it in stride.
Posted by: kasia | July 11, 2003 12:17 AM
Great job! :) Glad you took care of him.
Posted by: icer3k | July 11, 2003 12:56 AM
Oh man that's funny. The load averages on my dev server at home aren't that low when it's powered down.
And Kasia, I had no idea you were such a fat loser. You handle it gracefully to say the least.
Posted by: Mospaw | July 11, 2003 01:25 AM
Nice work, did you think about becoming a member and submitting it on www.theinternethitman.com ? It would be a claccic addition.;-)
Tom
Posted by: TomNativeNewYorker | July 11, 2003 01:56 AM
uh..no.. huge difference.. he flamed me, not the other way around and my goal was not to inflame anyone.. if you notice my first few emails were very 'lay off now'..
I don't like the idea of ensnaring people into making fools of themselves.. only when the fool is already doing it it's okay in my mind..
So, no thanks.. I completely disagree with what you guys are doing.
Posted by: kasia | July 11, 2003 02:01 AM
THAT is a riot.
Too bad he's using the email address that is associated with his business. That ype of activity will sure reflect poorly on...
Time for another trackback to your site. :)
Posted by: Jeremy aka bad-magic-number | July 11, 2003 02:06 AM
That was nicely done... thanks for the good laugh.
He has been one of the more annoying members for a good while now. I guess his "business" ain't doin' too well...
Posted by: oWn3d | July 11, 2003 02:28 AM
Thanks for posting this, my job doesn't allow me to have such entertaining interactions with users. Very funny.
Posted by: Michael Kruckenberg | July 11, 2003 03:51 AM
What on earth is a "butter face"? People can't go around making up their own insults. That sort of thing leads to chaos.
Posted by: pete | July 11, 2003 05:42 AM
Pete, a "butter face" is when a woman has an attractive body, but an ugly face. It comes from, "Wow, she's got a seriously hot body, but her face...". "But her face" = "butter face".
I've seen a photo of Kasia. It doesn't apply in her case.
Posted by: Mospaw | July 11, 2003 08:15 AM
If I've said it once, I've said it 10^6 times: life as a programmer would be so much easier without users.
At least this one turned out to be more of a chew toy than anything else, especially over $10... probably already one of my customers too, give his emails!
Posted by: Randy | July 11, 2003 10:02 AM
If my parents had caught me writing like that at his age, I'd *still* be grounded. Sadly, this punk's parents probably wouldn't care, or - worse - would think Kasia were the bad gal here.
Posted by: Steve Friedl | July 11, 2003 11:08 AM
I know I shouldn't, but I had to trackback to this. It didn't really make me smile, but certainly made me shake my head. I have these kinds of conversations with poor blokes who don't like it when I won't give them free programming/design :(
Posted by: Jeremy C. Wright | July 11, 2003 12:36 PM
Whoa! Pretty soon this entry might beat the Yahoo! Messenger entry in popularity. 6 trackbacks and 15 comments...
Posted by: Techie2000 | July 11, 2003 02:13 PM
Funniest. Emails. Ever.
Now to do with the pop that is coming out of my nose for laughing so hard.... damn you Kasia! :)
Posted by: Arcterex | July 11, 2003 04:02 PM
I remember that kid - nothing but giberish. That was definitely worth a good chuckle.
Posted by: slash | July 11, 2003 06:43 PM
Interesting that he does things other than admin duties as admin. A sure sign of a power user!
(heh)
Posted by: joat | July 11, 2003 08:51 PM
kasia you inspire me. I have an "i think i can" attitude, you being a unix admin and all. sometimes you have to regulate a mofo like that, even though his vocabulary is pretty limited.
And fuck-face should be hyphenated
hahahaha
Posted by: pcdebb | July 12, 2003 02:03 AM
Kasia, you are very adorable (i've seen your pic on this site). And that kid is a fucktard. This was a hillarious post though!
Posted by: Paul | July 14, 2003 12:18 PM
Simply great reading. Really needed a post-vacation blues smile. Thank you!
Posted by: Ron | July 14, 2003 02:01 PM
Sheesh, what an idiot. Sorry that you had to deal with that... well, you seemed to have enjoyed it much :)
Posted by: jdong | July 14, 2003 03:43 PM
1 12 1337 h4x012!!!!!!!11!!@12
T3h L0z312s 12 t3h U!!!!!!!@1111112121!!!!!!!!!!
i like just got this email and i dont know what it means .. could you guys help???
Posted by: Cream of Sumyungui | October 4, 2003 05:13 PM
WHOA! that entire convo was the most sarcastic mail i have read in a while. it was more than obvious that this was a 15 year old hax0r. tehehehee. that made for a GLORIOUS morning, thank you!!! ;)
**and have YOU had your daily dose of sarcasm today??**
Posted by: s0ng | November 10, 2003 02:29 PM
OMG! That was hilarious.
Posted by: E_Vancouver | November 11, 2003 04:42 AM