Homesick
Maciej "Why I like Poland". That was an unexpected joy to read.. I haven't been to Poland in fifteen years and I'm quite sure it has changed more than just a little since the fall of communism but it's good to read about all those little things I remember so well.
What I miss most about Poland and think about on regular basis? Common courtesy.
No one enters a store, house or a train until all those leaving have a chance to leave. I hate how in US people always push their way in.
On a train or a bus, a young person would never sit while an older one is standing (or a man when a woman is).
A pregnant woman or one with a small child is not only given the right of way, but also a first place in long lines in stores. During communism and food shortages, lines would last for hours (that's each person waiting for hours on end to buy something as basic as toilet paper) but this courtesy was still always observed.
One would never enter someone's house in their outdoor shoes (or your own house for that matter, that's what slippers are for) that's just beyond rude.
I still do all these things and get the funniest looks from people sometimes when I give up my seat in a crowded room to an older person. After fifteen years, I'm still very much Polish. I wish more people were.
Comments
Some Americans recognize this courtesy, but a bare few. I like to think of it as a Southern thing, but that may just be sentimentality speaking (I haven't lived in the South for almost 20 years now).
Posted by: George Schlossnagle | February 3, 2004 10:33 PM
Many Canadians still remember this stuff. It's hard to tell whether it's getting worse, or whether I'm just getting curmudgeonly...
Posted by: Harald | February 3, 2004 11:25 PM
Sounds all too familiar. It still lives on in my family.
Posted by: Codestorm | February 3, 2004 11:58 PM
This tradition seems to have died out in most of Western Europe as well, although if you leave the cityscapes of the UK you can still occasionally find people willing to give up seats on public transport, and I for one always hold the door open for the next person behind me - even if it means waiting a few seconds.
The trouble is down to education, and dare I say it, the media. People in the West are either i) always in too much of a hurry, or ii) to worried about not being cool.
Sad really isn't it?
Posted by: Ant | February 4, 2004 05:32 AM
Most everyone I know of uses common courtesy. But most everyone I know of is from the South where manners are still taught by ones parents. I still get funny looks when I say "yes sir, no sir, yes maam, & no maam" from people. I always here the comment "My father is a sir, not me" But thats the way I grew up. I think the problem is you live too far north, Dont get me wrong, I liked visiting & working in NY, Ct, & Mass, for the short time I was there, but there is a big difference in how people treat you up there. PS. Still waiting on that reply email.
Ron Ward
Posted by: Ron | February 4, 2004 10:10 AM
For me, working in a hospital where the elevators are oddly programmed, sometimes I do find myself getting in to an elevator before the people inside step out because if I don't, the doors will close before they can get out and no one seems to know how to depress the "hold door open" button. Sometimes, people hide inside the elevator, and I can't *see* them inside until I'm already on - and then I get accused of being rude.
For the most part, it's been my experience that the social customs here in the U.S. vary from region to region and depend largely on the size of the town/city/metropolitan area you're living in. I live in the Pacific NW now, and people here are friendlier and have more manners than when I lived in Florida.
Posted by: Ali | February 4, 2004 05:19 PM
I'm with you on the elevator thing. In the apartment building I live in, it seems manditory to enter as the person is leaving (or trying). This concept of rudness brings to mind the apparently unfamiliar physic's concept that two objects cannot occupy the same space at the same time.
Not to be completly stupid, but did you see the train's in Mumbai (if you watched Amazing Race 4)? Now that's just crazy.
Posted by: D | February 5, 2004 11:18 PM
I know! I miss those things about Poland too. It seems people had a little more consideration for everyone, and definitively a lot more respect for older people. Funny thing about the outdoor shoes: so in Poland the person who comes over your house takes off their shoes, but it's common courtesy to be nice and tell them it's okay, they don't have to take off their shoes (to which of course they insist that they take them off). It would be very rude to just tell somebody to take off their shoes. Now, whenver I go to somebody's house and they tell me to take off my shoes (which I was going to take off anyway), I have to try very hard not to get offended. And I left Poland when I was 10 years old! Amazing how instilled certain social cutoms are in us.
Czesc Kasia!
Posted by: Docia | February 7, 2004 04:47 PM
I've been to Poland three times for a total of three months with what is now my ex-girlfriend. Every time I was there, I was always amazed by how wonderful a country it is. It was quite a departure from what I was used to here in the U.S. but it was just so charming. I find myself missing that charm quite often now. I liked the fact that every town had an old town area where you could go shopping or have a beer with friends. I would highly recommend visiting to anyone looking to explore Europe. Poland and the Czech Republic are amazing places to visit. Thanks for the link, it really brought back good memories.
Posted by: Mark | February 8, 2004 09:38 PM
kultura wymaga, aby zachowywac tak jak przystoi - ustepowac starszym i kobietom w ciazy - tak wlasnie powinno byc!
Posted by: krzysiek | February 11, 2004 05:06 PM
Yeeeahd, it's csool
Posted by: Numit | February 21, 2004 06:55 AM